out of practice

So… this one is a bit of long time coming… and it’s fitting because I am out of practice.
My siblings and I took piano lessons when we were growing up. We learned for a while from our mom, but also had other teachers. I really, really did not like to practice… who does?
But as time went on, my dislike for practicing meant that I gave piano up long before my siblings and can only hash out a simple melody these days, while my sister plays beautifully and skillfully.

I find myself now reminding my own children to practice their songs on the piano and also noting the marked difference that it makes when they spend the time to practice, practice and practice some more. It seems like an obvious and well-known fact that practice makes a different, but sometimes I have to remember that choosing to practice is exactly what I need.

When I was undergoing treatment in this past year, there was built in space to process, pray and share because my body was forced to pause. I wan’t physically able to engage with activities or even though-processes that I normally would, and the pausing led to prayer, which led to reflection, which led to thoughts to share.

It’s not so much that I’m out of practice with the thinking part of this process… I am prone to over-processing and also have a regular back and forth with Jesus during the day as I shift through different emotions, reactions and realities. But the time and space that it takes to both listen, feel, and then remember the value of using my voice to share some of those ideas is what has been lacking.

It takes work to let the quiet, persistent truths sink in. I have to be still, quiet, in order to let the truths of who God is and who he says I am sink in again to my being and my body. I have to pause the list of things to do, and the list of worries that rise to remember the grounded-ness that is mine in Christ.

Interestingly, I have been thinking about how this rhythm of pause, rest and truth-grounding gets connected to another area that I am also out of practice in… togetherness.

Now maybe it doesn’t make a ton of sense right off the bat to link up quiet, reflective alone-with-Jesus time to being together with other people - but actually I think that they are very much intertwined.

As this new year continues to unfold I have been aware of the struggle that it is to be together with others. Times with friends and family that that used to feel normal, easy and energizing seem to take a toll in this season and even cause anxiety, stress, and exhaustion after the fact. We are collectively out of practice with being together in easy and regular ways. This is a natural bi-product of a long season of isolation and at-home realities that have marked these years of living in a pandemic. But of course, regardless of the reason, it means that it feels like work to reclaim the value and benefits of togetherness.

In both of these areas, I know that just recognizing the need is not enough. I see how I need to pause and prioritize real rest with Jesus. Not just the do-nothing-and-let-your-mind-numb-out kind of sitting, but instead a practice of presence with the truth of God’s love and provision. It takes effort and intentionality to say yes to the invitation of Jesus to find rest and purpose in him. I see it. I know the value of this abiding. Now I need to choose to practice.

Likewise, knowing the value and richness of being together in community is also not the fullness of what is needed. I know that my own perspective is strengthened, challenged and encouraged when I take the time to be together with others in meaningful ways. I know that I can both give and receive real support, and alongside-ness when I choose to prioritize relationship and authentic presence with people. I see it. I know the value of this connection. Now I need to practice.

The most glorious part of all of this reflecting is always the undergirding truth that I am never left to work at these practices on my own. Jesus is with us and for us and he will always show the way.

The way of Jesus often starts soft and small - close to home, and in ways that we may incorrectly judge as insignificant. The reminder of to my own heart today is to not be afraid or ashamed of the practicing. I would probably like to re-write this blog five more times before I actually share it… but I’ll choose to practice and invite others in to the present as it is. I will likely continue to feel worn out after spending time with others for a while, but I choose to trust that the practicing slowly builds into an easy and life-giving melody. Like repeated scales and missed notes, this practicing will slowly but surely burst forth into song.

How can you choose to rest with Jesus today? To really pause and let his love and truth re-ground your heart, mind and body?

How can you choose to connect with someone today? To receive the encouragement that you need and also to extend care, connection and encouragement to someone around you?

I know I need the practice. And I have the absolute best teacher to show me the way.
Blessings friends. May you know the peace and sustaining of Jesus as you also practice walking in his ways. xo